2nd day - July 7th

It took a LOT of motivation to get myself to bike this morning. Even last night I already didn't want to do it. But, I kept telling myself its not a choice....I made a goal and I'm sticking to it!

This morning, I was able to get up around 6:50am....Jonny left at 6:40 and woke me up before leaving. I was able to get out of bed, but I really had to fight myself as I was getting ready in the morning. I decided to try biking on the beach because it looked amazing....and it was amazing, but a lot harder. After about 15min of biking on the beach, I went to Ocean Beach Blvd and did another 13min or so on pavement. After I finished with the beach part, I was exhausted and I thought that I would just go home. But after moving to a paved street it got a lot easier, so it gave me good confidence. But it was wonderful to be moving fast on that beach...hearing the waves, seeing the ocean on one side, being among the birds...its a great feeling.

Overall, today was harder to bike for several reasons....the beach has a lot more friction so you have to work twice as hard to pedal (its bumpy and uneven), I was probably tired from yesterday, my crotch area hurt from the uncomfortable seat, it seemed a lot more humid and hotter (even though I was out there earlier), I was loosing some of the excitement I had yesterday.

But I did it!!! And I'm going to do it again tomorrow!

Actually, tomorrow I'm thinking of wearing my bathing suit to go out so that I can go swimming in either the pool or ocean after getting all hot and sweaty.

1st day - July 6th

For the last couple of days I spent a lot of right nice time with Jonny. Last night I had a lot of anxiety when going to sleep. I think that it was because I was preparing myself for today and I was afraid to have to be alone again.

I finally got up at 8am....about an hour later then planned. But I slept in a little bit on purpose because I kept waking up all night.

I went on a bike ride and it went really well. I went south on Ocean Beach Blvd until it ended. It was about 25min of actual biking. The street is really nice to bike on.

I spent the rest of the day at home doing some research on the computer. I did watch a lot of tv though, but turned it off at some point because I just got sick of it....good sign, no?

I made dinner for Jonny, which was nice.

I didn't wash my face because it was already late and I could tell that Jonny was getting upset and just wanted to go to sleep.

Conquering my Anxiety

So I'm in Cocoa Beach, Florida for 2 months. Jonny is working at the Kennedy Space Center.

For the next two months, my two big goals is to control my anxiety and run my new jewelry business. These are the things I would like to accomplish:
- Ride my bicycle every morning to improve my health (I told Jonny that I want to quadruple my ability by the end of the stay, but I'll see about that one)
- Spend a lot of time on my jewelry
- Meditate on the beach
- Explore Florida!
- Understand where my anxiety comes from and be able to work past it in every moment
- Be able to spend time alone, without the TV on, and be comfortable
- Wash my face every day